Regaining My Dreams

Amy. 21. Wild dreamer,hippie hopeful, lost and broken, art lover of all kinds. Bipolar disorder, anxiety, panic disorder, type 1 diabetes, in recovery from diabulimia and EDNOS a- I categorize them separately because the EDNOS is my restrict/binge/over exercise/whatever cycle. Also trying to recover from self harm and suicidal ideation in it's many demon forms. Been in inpatient/residential treatment for my eating disorder for 3 months last year, and am currently in PHP treatment for my mental illnesses. I get lost in my dreams and nightmares sometimes, in the poetry of light and dark and imagination. The Fairy Realms call my name. I'm not sane-but what is sane anyways? I know that my God is mighty to save :) Please ask me if you have any questions or just want to talk. I would love to get to know anyone and to help in anyway that I can. This blog may be triggering at times, I try not to be but I can't catch everything and I don't want to censor myself completely- I need a place where I can be free.
Do the next right thing. <3 Amy

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March162012

I just want to help…

Just want to let all my followers know that I’m there for them whenever. Or even if you don’t follow me, but just stumble across my blog for some reason. I have struggled with depression, bipolar, anxiety, type 1 diabetes, eating disorders, self injury,suicide attempts, and some trauma. I was in ttreatment for my eating disorder at Melrose Institute for 3 months at the end of 2011 and am currently in recovery, though I still have my battles. I really, really want to help anyone who struggles with the same issues I do, or even if it’s different ones, I promise to listen and try and help anyways. The world is cruel but also beautiful and I know that you, yes, YOU can find a beautiful life! We can do it together. We don’t deserve to be bound by these chains anymore Please, please, message me and I will try to help in any way I can. I promise. <3 Amy.

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February42012

Barbie Doll

This girlchild was born as usual
and presented dolls that did pee-pee
and miniature GE stoves and irons
and wee lipsticks the color of cherry candy.
Then in the magic of puberty, a classmate said:
You have a great big nose and fat legs.

She was healthy, tested intelligent,
possessed strong arms and back,
abundant sexual drive and manual dexterity.
She went to and fro apologizing.
Everyone saw a fat nose on thick legs.

She was advised to play coy,
exhorted to come on hearty,
exercise, diet, smile and wheedle.
Her good nature wore out
like a fan belt.
So she cut off her nose and her legs
and offered them up.

In the casket displayed on satin she lay
with the undertaker’s cosmetics painted on,
a turned-up putty nose,
dressed in a pink and white nightie.
Doesn’t she look pretty? everyone said.
Consummation at last.
To every woman a happy ending.

Marge Piercy

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